Double Trouble
by Laura and Amber
Summary: It's another "Perry turns human" story but THIS time Peter the Panda's getting in on the gig. Now Doof has a little competition in trying to win Perry's affection. PeterxPerry and Perryshmirtz!
1. Chapter 1

It starts off so much the same way. Perry got ready for his next mission and arrived in his base. The surprise the day held for him though, was just starting as he walked in.

"'PETER?'", Perry gaped at the panda that arrived opposite of him.

Peter gave a nod and a shrug before Monogram's face appeared on the screen.

"Good morning Agent Ps.", the Major addressed. "If you're curious as to why I've called you both here, it's simple. Agent Perry, Dr. Doofenshmirtz is at it again. He has some sort of large inator being built in his building but the problem is that it's password-locked. We're not sure what it does but since we know that you two normally go head-to-head with each other, we're afraid we can't have that happen this time. That inator could be devestating if it's not taken care of as quickly as possible so we're sending you, Agent Peter, to help out and keep Dr. Doofenshmirtz busy. TRY to get along. I know you two have some rough pasts with each other, but we're really counting on you both. Monogram out."

The agents saluted their master and after the screen blinked off, Perry growled at Peter.

"'I can't believe out of every agent in the organization, I'm stuck with you!'", the platypus complained before pointing at the new fedora the panda was wearing. "'You don't even deserve that promotion, you know it?'"

"'Yeah well can't help ya there, Perry.'", Peter shrugged. "'Let's just get going. It's not like I really wanna do this anyway.'"

"'Exactly my point.'", Perry leered before heading to the hover car with Peter. "'...Why do I have to be stuck with a fat panda bear?'"

"'Hey. I'm not a fat panda bear.'", Peter began to say. "'I'm JUST the right size for a panda bear.'"

"'SURE you are. That desert buffet is so hard to ignore.'", Perry said.

"'Let's just get there, beat him to a pulp, and get back. I don't wanna miss Lunch.'", the panda rolled his eyes.

"'See, that's your problem. You never care about your job!'", the car started up and they were soon on their way. "You're just looking for a way to get in and out as fast as possible with as little work as you can manage! At least when I beat Doofenshmirtz up, I'm doing it with a family in mind and hatred in my heart.'"

"'Yeah well that's the thing, Dude.'", Peter shrugged. "'YOU care. Who does?'"

"'Well I would certainly like to think a good deal of the organization does.'", Perry simply sighed. "'But of course, this is why I'm the odd-one-out. And why I get the bigger check.'"

"'And yet no day-offs.'", Peter chimed in, making the platypus wish for nothing else other than to shove him out of the flying car right then.

* * *

_I promised a friend of mine I'd get it up before I was done with this. Hope you like it and please review! ^_^_


	2. Chapter 2

Heinz had just finished setting up his inator and was taking a step back to beam at his handy-work. He knew Perry the Platypus wasn't going to win this fight. Nope. Not him. Not this time. And as if on cue, there was a crash behind him to indicate Perry's barging in. But as soon as the platypus and panda landed, they were both strapped together into one chair.

"Ah! Perry the-", Heinz stopped in his tracks as he turned around and saw Peter. "Peter the Panda?! What? An agent team-up or something?"

Perry gave an annoyed nod and Peter simply situated his elbow onto the arm of the chair, waiting for them to escape.

"Eh. All the better.", Heinz smiled with a shrug. "So Perry the Platypus and Peter the Panda. BEHOLD! My humaninator!"

With an uncaring glance at the ray behind him, Perry and Peter exchanged glances, slightly curious of what it did.

"You know how I always say, 'fight fire with fire'? Well instead of platypus-robots or turning me INTO a platypus myself or training a platypus to fight you, instead, I'm going to turn YOU into a human!", Heinz pointed at the chair, earning surprised expressions.

Before anything could be done, the beam was shot and smoke filled the room as the two began to transform. Fortunately the strap around their waists was retracted and both fell to the floor as the massive electrical shock zapped through their bodies. Soon enough, however, the pain had died away and Perry was the first at the attack.

"Ha ha! I- AAAAHH!", Heinz quickly ducked as a fist was thrown at his head.

He scrambled back as a woman with short, straight, teal-blue hair wearing a blue dress and a brown fedora with chocolate brown eyes, came out of the smoke, scowling angrily at missing her target.

"P-Pe-Perry the Platypus?!", Heinz gaped as he cotninued to move way from the woman as she advanced."Y-You're a girl?!"

"Ugh! What else would I be?", Perry replied, ignoring the fact that she could talk.

She threw another punch and Heinz ducked in time but wasn't fast enough to see the orange high-heel come ramming into his jaw, making him fly back in pain. Once the pain had registered and Perry was satisfied with her hit, she sighed and looked over her new body as a tall, slightly heavy, pale man walked out of the smoke as well, coughing and waving it aside. He had white hair for the most part except for the side of his messy bangs that were pitch black. He had a large dark circle around his eye on both sides, much like a birthmark, and was wearing a white and black sweater with black pants and shoes. His eyes finally gave way to revealing themselves as bright green.

"So... What was this supposed to do?", Peter asked curiously.

"Wait... How could we talk?", Perry asked, suddenly confused.

Peter simply shrugged and Heinz finally stood up, holding his bleeding nose in pain.

"Ow.. It's a function of the humaninator. It changed nearly everything about you except your basic memory. So you know yourselves as Perry and Peter but your voices remember more of how to talk humanly rather than...animal wise.", he shrugged, not entirely sure what to say Peter's communication as a panda would be.

"Well that'd deserve a scar right across your face you jerk!", Perry snarled back. "Now cause of you, we're stuck like this! Assuming you hadn't bothered to add in a reverse switch?"

"No. No, I haven't!", Heinz said rather proudly, earning a frustrated growl from the other.

"That is SO like you!", Perry retorted.

"Well I don't see the hold up here. His inator isn't working, hence the smoke. Mission accomplished in my book.", Peter shrugged, heading for the balcony.

"Wait! Where are you going?!", Heinz asked.

"Back to headquarters, what else?", Peter asked with a shrugged before pulling out a rip-cord and producing a hang glider.

"No! Peter wait-!", Perry called out though it was too late.

Peter left and Perry and Heinz were alone. But as Perry stormed off, kicking a piece aside in more internal frustration than anything, Heinz finally took the time to suddenly notice Perry's figure. Had the platypus been male, like Heinz had thought, it would've been easy to guess the look. Strength found in nearly aspect, possible handsomeness, everything opposite of what Heinz is physically cut out to be. He couldn't exactly say that Perry was muscular, like in the imagination, but she wasn't a weakling. Obviously. And all of a sudden, he found himself in a rather odd situation. Here Perry was. His nemesis. A female. Supossedly about his age. Human. And yet... Not returning home. Not destroying the inator. Alone with him. And as he looked closer, she was looking more...upset than angry. Almost tearful. But she wasn't saying anything to him and he wondered if HE should be the one to break the silence or allow it to continue. After all. Peter just left, off for home, yet she was still here.

"...Why did you try to stop him?", Heinz finally asked, daring himself on what he considered dangerous turf.

"Huh? Oh. Um..", Perry shook her head, trying to clear her worried thoughts of Phineas and Ferb. "Owca doesn't hire humans for agents. It's too odd and humans talk back."

"And...?"

"So try being a silent animal most of your life, and suddenly reappearing in headquarters claiming you're the same animal?", she said, trying to guess how stupid Heinz was to not realize it.

His eyes widened in enlightenment and he tried to imagine exactly what kind of trouble Peter WOULD be in if he suddenly appeared on the spot as a human.

It wasn't near what he could conjure up as Peter finally managed to climb over the side of the gate and lean against it for a moment to catch his breath. The reinforcements would soon be after him if he didn't start moving. Yet still the only thing Peter could happen to think of at this point was what he would do if Perry started to say "I told you so" when he got back.

Here or there, it didn't matter to Perry as she simply shook her head clear again and stood up to explain that going back to Owca would be a pretty dangerous situation and that with no where else to go, she had to give Heinz his props for creating a rather clever trap.

"Able to roam, but still bounded to this place. Mighty clever, I must say.", she gave a nod.

"Really? Th-thanks! Wow, didn't expect a means of praise from my nemesis. But you know, coming to think about it, as a platypus, you don't talk this much.", Heinz noticed.

"As a platypus, there's not much reason to talk.", she shrugged. "Now I can though, and it's quite fun to take advantage of."

"Well thank you for that compliment. After all, it was MY design that has allowed you to do so.", Heinz said in slight pride before he caught the reason for such. 'Wait.. Should I be TRYING to make myself look good to her?'

"Well trust me, Dr. D. There's quite a number of things on my mind that-"

"Perry, look out!"

As Perry was talking, she had leaned against the console of the inator. Namely on the self-destruct button. And with only a second to spare for landing on the ground and covering the other, Heinz had managed to push her out of the way before the entire thing blew into pieces and smoke. After coughing a bit more and finding the debris finally cleared off, Heinz pushed himself up and suddenly felt his heart stop as he realized what he had done.

Perry waved aside a bit of smoke but when she saw the cherry-red face of the man who saved her, her mind froze as it tried to digest the new concept of what was going on. She had seen soap operas and movies. She knew an awkward and-or romantic situation when she saw one. And here was a prime, and slightly cliche, example of one: A guy practically trapping a girl underneath him. And while normally it wouldn't have bothered her, after all, it WAS Heinz, there was something odd about this to her suddenly. Something VERY mentally-dangerous and, dared she say, Heinz almost appeared cute with how froze-up he seemed.

The moment disappeared though as the door swung open and both looked over to find Peter back in the room once again with a slightly surprised expression on his face.

"...Now I KNOW I wasn't gone for THAT long.", he simply remarked, his nonchalant features reappearing.

"OH! MY! GOSH! As if!", Perry exclaimed with a bright red blush of fury and embarrassment before ramming her knee into Heinz and pushing him off of her as he slighlty rolled over to his side in pain. She stood up to face him fully. "Peter! of all the agents in Owca, you are TRULY the most sickest one out of the bunch! Failed experiment or not!"

"Yeah, thanks for shouting out my biggest secret to the world, Freak.", Peter groaned a bit, despising his hated past blowing up in his face. "At least I'M not the one who's getting it with their nemesis."

"WHAT?!", she nearly choked on the idea. "YOU'RE SO GONNA DIE FOR SAYING THAT!"

"Not for thinking it's possibility?", Peter simply teased with a smile before running for his life as Perry began to chase him.

They ran this way and that, ducking under tables, hopping onto ceiling beams, and sliding about an inator in a lethal game of cat and mouse. As Heinz picked himself up finally, he stopped to watch a bit and noticed that even with something as simple and as childish as chasing one another down, the duo still used every secret agent trick they knew to outwit and catch the other. Unfortunately, being the inner-panda that he is, Peter wasn't able to last too long before the in-shaped platypus finally pounced on him and tumbled with his across the ground, one trying to gain strength over the other. As Peter was pinned, Perry dished out a punch but Peter caught it and the two ended up in a fist-to-fist fight against each other. At first in all the rage and fear that was originally the cause of it all, but then it turned into something of a play as Peter back-flipped from Perry's high kick and flipped her onto her back with his own feet.

"Ow!", she groaned as she landed on the hard floor before smiling back at Peter in slight amusement. "Nice one!"

"Thanks!", Peter said, landing on his feet again and preparing for another attack. "Not so bad yourself there."

"Well I work harder than you."

"That's cause you're the opposite of me."

"Exactly."

And the fight pursued as Heinz watched from his spot. It was kinda amusing, really. They were actually making a game out of it now yet it looked more awesome and amazing than a kung-fu movie with the best Hollywood directors and producers. It was easy to guess they've done this more than once, understanding that they were secret agents and were probably used to sparring against each other in practice. Just like Heinz and his ocelot siblings when he was younger. Play fighting. A kiddie's game that helped teach basic combat. But then the game was over as the chase pursued and as they ran around the couch and the inators again, Heinz was surprised to find them chasing around HIM in particular at last. Pulling and pushing on him this way and that like kids around a parent.

"Whoa! H-hey!", Heinz exclaimed as they circled him, trying to catch the other.

"I'm still gonna kill you!", Perry half-joked as she reached out to grab Peter's shirt.

"Lemme alone!", Peter cried out with a laugh.

"HEY!", Heinz finally said, holding out his arms and stopping them both with a hand against each.

Heinz glared back and forth between the two, finally finding it all ridiculous when he suddenly noticed his hand on Perry was below her neck. Earning a quick scowl from the other, he quickly lifted it up to her face instead.

"I know normally I'm the immature one but for crying out loud, we ARE adults! Can we at least ACT like it a bit?", he asked. "This is just flat out silly of us."

Perry sighed a bit and gave a nod, "Yeah. You've got a bit of a point."

"You're only saying that cause you like him.", Peter teased some more.

"NO I DON'T!", Perry suddenly shot back before Heinz scowled back at her, his cheeks slightly pink like hers.

"Don't start it back up.", Heinz warned before turning to Peter. "And knock it off! You know we hate each other! Duh! We're ENEMIES! Not LOVERS."

"Whatever.", Peter shrugged. "I'll be more mature."

"Well, then I suppose there's a first for everything.", Perry rolled her eyes.

"Like you and Hei- ACK!", Peter choked as Heinz quickly grabbed him by the neck.

Heinz dropped him with a sigh and walked over to the couch before collapsing on it and rubbing his head. He knew what it was like to raise a child. Especially if they had friends over. And now it was as if he was going through it all over again with people he hated more than anything.

'That's right Heinz. You HATE Perry. You don't LOVE her.', he reminded himself. 'Ain't nothing gonna change that.'

But as they began to settle down and Perry explained the inator's explosion to Peter, Heinz noticed the time and was rather surprised. How is it that once an inator is blown up and a fight occurs, time suddenly flies by and Dinner's expected in less than an hour?

Heinz walked out of the room and of course, Perry was right on his tail.

"Hey, where do you think YOU'RE going?", Perry demanded.

"Well gee, I guess you finally caught me Perry the Platywoman.", Heinz rolled his eyes. "I'm going to make dinner. For SHAME on me."

"You coulda said it without the sarcasm.", Perry said with a slight glare. "I can't help it if I know how you are."

"Dinner does sound good.", Peter said, perking up. "What is it?"

"Well with the time-press of dealing with you guys, I think I'm just gonna make chicken strips and onion rings.", Heinz shrugged.

"Chicken? Awesome.", Peter smiled, walking out of the room with them.

The secret agents sat at the table while Heinz worked in the kitchen. Peter had his ears plugged into his ipod while Perry kept to her self. She didn't have a book or a game or really anything to keep her occupied. So she kept her arms folded across her chest and simply allowed her mind to rest. But it was hard to keep it at peace with the numbers of thuds and clangs and exclamations coming from the kitchen.

"...So whatcha listening to?", Perry asked Peter, nudging him a bit.

"'Hello Seattle' by Owl City.", Peter replied, nodding his head in tune.

"Mm...", Perry nodded, not really sure what all to talk of from this.

"AAAHH! Darnit!", Heinz groaned, making her head snap to his direction.

"Heinz?", Perry called out. "Are you okay in there?"

"Yeah, of course! Just.. burned myself...again.", he replied, clearly agitated.

Perry came to the kitchen and found Heinz over the sink with a bottle of soy sauce. He poured the content on his hand while the chicken, covered in a batter, were busy frying away in a skillet full of oil.

"Heinz?", Perry asked, stepping into the room. "Wait, soy sauce? Shouldn't you use some cold water?"

"Actually you'd be surprised.", Heinz said, setting it aside and rubbing the liquid into his hand. "Something I picked up while living in Gimmleschtump. Once it dries out, I'll rinse it off with cold water."

"So whatcha mean by 'again'?"

"Well I guess I'm not ENTIRELY that careful with boiling oil.", Heinz chuckled a bit.

"Funny, I thought it'd be because of your inators.", Perry said with a smirk. "Mind if I stand around here while you cook?"

"Sure, I guess.", Heinz shrugged. "Just be careful being close to the skillet. It's real hot."

"Obviously."

She watched him a while. He turned the chicken after a while, stood back to wait a while longer, and once it was done, he took it out and placed it in a separate container before pulling out more chicken strips from a metal bowl nearby and carefully putting them in. The oil hissed and boiled and Heinz scrapped the bottom to ensure nothing stuck. And for once, as Perry had noticed, Heinz was silent. Absolutely quiet. Not even a grunt escaped him as he cooked. It was something actually interesting to the platywoman. And after a moment, Perry was surprised to know that it was SHE who broke the silence, instead of him.

"Can I help?", she asked.

"Hmm? Oh. Well... Not really a lot you can help out with. It's just turning chicken."

"Well what's the batter made of then?", she asked, peeking into the bowl.

"Oh nothing much. Garlic powder, salt, pepper, flour, eggs..", Heinz shrugged. "No, I didn't put in anything poisonous."

"Heh, I was just asking.", Perry chuckled.

"Well if you wanna, I gotta use the bathroom. This is the last of the chicken, I've already chopped up the onions. All you gotta do is coat the onions in the batter, place them in the oil, and wait till the bottom gets a golden brown. I should be back before then but if it does, turn them all and wait for the other side. Kay?", Heinz instructed, taking the last of the chicken out.

"Um.. Alright.", Perry gave a nod.

"You sure? You seem uncertain."

"Beat it before you wet yourself.", Perry smirked.

Heinz chuckled and headed off. Perry looked at the onions, but for once, hesitated. It seemed weird, to be taking orders from her nemesis. But even that wasn't what was stopping her. But she shook her head, and got to work. She put in a small handful of onion rings, trying hard not to break them, coated them (or so she hoped) well in batter, and began to place them in the oil.

"BSSSSSHHHH!", the oil hissed as the first one went in.

"Ack!", Perry jumped back.

"Hey, Heinz? How's that din-din com- Perry?!", Peter exclaimed, seeing Perry in the kitchen. He took off the ear buds and walked in. "What the heck are you doing?!"

"Well Heinz went to use the bathroom and-"

"Dude, do you NOT remember Owca's last company picnic?"

"...I know...", Perry groaned as the memory came over her. "But he left and put me in charge, I don't think it's really that hard. I-I doubt I could food poison onions."

"Well I could-"

"No! Heinz told ME to do it!", Perry argued. "I'm platypus enough to cook food! I'm a secret agent, for crying out loud!"

"Yes, but you aren't a chef.", Peter retorted. "Besides, I doubt even Heinz can cook real good."

He began to pick up a chicken strip but Perry smacked his hand and ordered him to leave the kitchen. He did so and she went back at it. By the time the onions were ready to flip, Heinz came in.

"Hey, they're ready.", Perry smiled.

"Oh good! Didn't get burned, did you?"

"Um... Sorta.", Perry grinned sheepishly. "But I rinsed my hands under some water. I should be fine."

"Really? Perry the Platypus, the top secret agent, and she got burned?"

Perry sighed, her face for once, expressing something more sorrowful.

"I'm afraid that being so well trained as a secret agent, I'm not very skilled in cooking.", she admitted, pulling her hat down some in embarrassment. "Go ahead, laugh. I know it's stupid, but last time I cooked anything, it nearly poisoned Major Monogram."

But Heinz didn't laugh. Instead he kinda cringed and gave a grimacing look.

"Seriously? You nearly poisoned Major Monogram?", he asked.

"...Yes... Yes I did.", Perry gave a nod with another sigh.

"...Well chicken strips shouldn't be THAT hard.", Heinz encouraged, briefly wondering why he was doing so anyway. "I'm sure you didn't mess anything up."

Perry gave a shrug and left Heinz to his work. When dinner was made, Heinz sat down three bowls. One of chicken, one of onions, one of extra batter.

"Help yourself.", Heinz offered.

"That's all I needed to hear!", Peter said, itching to fill his ever hungry stomach as he reached out for a strip.

Suddenly Perry smacked his hand and scowled at him before saying, "Now just wait a cotton-pickin' second there, Peter! I don't want you to gorge yourself on this now!"

"Seesh! Who are you, my mother?", Peter groaned, waving his hand in pain.

"No. I just know how you are. And besides, I'm still top agent over you."

"Yeah, yeah. I know I know..", Peter groaned. "Lemme guess, a diet now?"

"You can eat, DUH.", Perry rolled her eyes. "Just make sure you don't get carried away that WE don't have anything to eat."

"Fine."

Dinner was eaten in silence and then Perry excused herself from the table to use the bathroom. Once out of the room, Heinz whistled in surprise. Because for the most part, Perry and Peter were tied to have eaten the most so far.

"Is she ALWAYS this hungry or is it just something about my place?", Heinz asked Peter.

"No, that's pretty normal. Actually she eats like a canary compared to most of the agents.", Peter shrugged. "And yet...it's as if there's something different about her tonight..."

"...What just cause she's human?", Heinz asked.

"Well obviously that has to have a good deal of it. Seeing as how often YOU stare at her.", Peter said flatly.

"WHAT?! I don't stare at her!", Heinz spewed out in a great fluster with bright red cheeks.

"Yeah you do. Maybe it's just cause we're all finally of the same species.", Peter went on.

"Species has NOTHING to do with anything like that.", Heinz said indignantly.

"So you DO like her?", Peter asked.

"I-!"

"Then it's settled. First one to win her heart is the lucky guy.", Peter said promptly.

"WHAT!?", Heinz said, now absolutely confused.

"Look, it's simple. She hates us, right?", Peter began to explain.

"Yes...", Heinz gave a hesitant nod.

"And yet, let's be honest. Now that we see everything the same way, she's not THAT bad looking, right?", Peter went on.

"Okay..."

"So then we'll see who's the first one to make Perry fall for them.", Peter finished up.

"But that's SO wrong!", Heinz disagreed. "Cause come on! I already have a 5 year head-start on you."

"NO. I'VE known Perry since she was BORN.", Peter corrected with a sly smile. "And I know more personal things about her than you'd even DREAM of knowing."

"Yeah but she yells at you.", Heinz smirked.

"We'll see how it plays.", Peter shrugged.

"To. Easy.", Heinz said as they shook on it.

Perry came into the room, the boys pretended as if nothing happened. After dinner Heinz showed Perry to the guest room and ensured Peter would get the couch.

'Well played, Doofenshmirtz.', Peter growled in his mind as he turned off the lamp nearby. 'Well played...'

* * *

_One day Amber and I were talking over the story and we had this idea of Peter riding on the bus, nodding his head to "Hello Seattle" (cause, you know. He lives in Seattle and everything) but as I wrote it, I forgot to put it in at that time so I put it in later. Then at one point I drew a picture of Peter the Panda on an airplane seat on his way back home to Seattle, dreaming about the song as he listened to it while he slept. XP 'Bout the only cute thing I could do with this panda._


	3. Chapter 3

_"Hey! Perry!", Peter said, coming into the gymnasium._

_Young Perry the Puggle was still pulling herself up on the monkey bars as the cub walked up to her. Perry had just recently been told she was being put up for adoption to the Flynn-Fletcher family and tomorrow was a bit nerve-wracking. She wanted to be in top shape and either way, Monogram wanted her to start acting more mature instead of a silly and carefree kid._

_"Oh.. Hi Peter.", Perry replied with a small and nervous nod. "Wh-what are you doing here?"_

_Peter always had a knack for scaring Perry. He was bigger and he was normally mean to everyone, especially the puggle._

_"Just wanted to come by and wish you good luck on the new job.", he said with a casual shrug._

_"Um.. Tha-"_

_"But I know you won't need it, now that I think about it.", Peter said, ignoring what she was going to say. "After all, I know you won't get into any trouble."_

_"Trouble?", the platypus repeated. "What trouble...?"_

_"You know. Getting caught as a secret agent, your family's discovered. Held as hostages. Major Monogram's busy ripping your head off. You accidentally help your nemesis take over some place or another. Kills, spills, danger, misfiled paper work, having to be removed, and of course, reassignment and kissing your old host family good-bye.", Peter listed. "I'm sure it'll never happen to you. After all, Perry. You're the Golden Puggle. With so much responsibility, who's to say that you'll slip? Have fun tomorrow. It'll be a BLAST. Trust me."_

_He began to walk out, making the platypus shake from head to tail. Danger? Killing? Misfiled paper work? Good-bye to her family?_

_'What if someone found out my secret?', she thought fearfully._

_"Oh and by the way. If you're ever in Seattle, look me up.", Peter said before leaving the room and the platypus, in the dark._

_"...S-S-Seattle?", the platypus whimpered, as she tucked her tail between her legs._

Perry tossed in the bedsheets as the dream continued. Haunting memories, old fears. She whimpered and chattered. She tried to fight but her fists only hit the air.

"N-No!", she mumbled in her sleep. "I'm not... I'm not jealous! I...I-I..."

"Perry? PERRY!", a voice suddenly cut through her dreams.

Perry woke up abruptly and soon Heinz was pinned to the ground as the platypus stood over top of him.

"P-Perry the Platywoman!", Heinz shouted in fright.

"Heinz?", Perry asked, peering into the darkness. "What on Earth are you doing in MY room?"

Heinz quickly flicked the rose he had in his hand that he was planning on leaving by her bed, under the bed and tried to think of a lie.

"I umm.. I-I heard you shouting.. Is-Is everything okay?", he asked, still nervous as her foot pressed down hard on his chest.

Perry stared at him for a moment, and then grasped his shirt with her toes. With a high kick, she picked up the man and stood up herself.

"I'm fine. Just a silly dream.", she said as Heinz readjusted his pajamas.

"You sure? You were saying something about being jealous.", Heinz asked.

"I'm NOT jealous!", Perry snapped back out at him, her eyes aflame with insult.

"I didn't say you were!", Heinz said defensively, holding his hands up. "I'm asking what THAT was all about."

"It's none of your business. Just a stupid dream.", she snarled.

"Perry the Platywoman, I'm not gonna use EVERY disadvantage I can find against you! Sheesh!", Heinz rolled his eyes. "What's the point of being enemies if we don't share a few things? After all, I tell you everything about my life. I'm not kidding when I say the burden of the conversation weighs on me. I can't understand you as a platypus. Talk to me a bit."

Perry sighed indignantly but after a moment, saw he wasn't leaving. He was meaning what he said. She sighed, a bit more slowly and sat down on her bed.

"I was having a dream about Owca.", she said.

"...really?", he urged on, sitting down next to her.

"See... In Owca we have this system. Every one in a great while, an animal is scientifically birthed to be smarter, stronger, and more humanly than most other animals. That way they can show the other animals how to be the best of the best and get the job done right. They understand human, they think not on instinct but on logic. Peter was one of them, but something had gone wrong. He turned out to be the exact opposite. He hates to admit it, but he's a bit of a retard. It's harder for him to follow instructions and that's why he's constantly reassigned as well as why he's so short for a grown panda. He seems to be holding out though, being in Seattle.", she started off, explaining. "But see then I was born. And I was one of the GEA. But every animal in Owca HATES GEA. Peter being genetically engineered got spread around so he's not really the favorite either. I haven't breathed word of it since the day Major Monogram told me. Told me I needed to take up responsibility. Told me I needed to be the Alpha Platypus. Somehow Peter knew when Major Monogram would tell me and scared me the night before I was assigned to a family. He made me worry that I would ruin everything like he does. A lot of the time I worry about something like all the other agents finding out about me being different and hating me. Calling me jealous of their natural abilities. I don't even have electroreceptions like most platypuses do. But I'm so busy trying to keep a straight face on through most of the day, it ends up spilling out into my dreams. I kick, I chatter, I toss and turn. Ask my owners and they'll both back it up."

"...I know how that is.", Heinz admitted, giving a nod. "Not the GEA thing, but I know what it's like. Being different. Trying not to say a word. See when I was growing up, I couldn't complain or my dad would KILL me. Even if I was sick, I was afraid to say so or else I would get the beating of my Life. So a lot of the time I dreamed about it all happening. Or I would get a stomach ache because of all the bottled-up stress."

Perry chuckled a bit and gave a nod.

"Sounds like me.", she admitted.

"But that was one of the things that I loved about Charlene. She encouraged me to talk about it. She was a psychologist, you see. So she would listen as I would ramble. But then she started getting sick of it and pfft. Not long till the divorce rolled on in. But that's where I get my habit of rambling on and on.", he said, making Perry chuckle a bit.

"I was wondering.", she joked.

"Yeah.", he gave a nod. "I'm sorry you got a lot of stress on you, though. That's gotta be rough. Like, like what's the worse that'll happen if they knew?"

"Well... I'll pretty much be a social outcast.", Perry shrugged. "No Life. No friends. Everyone would hate me and pick on me."

"Ah. Ouch... So much for such a law-abiding, good-deed-doing, Organization Without a Cool Acronym.", Heinz noted.

"Well the humans like the Monograms and Carl, they'll still like me.", Perry gave a nod. "But it's not the same. I need some of that good animal-to-animal convo. You know?"

"No, I understand.", Heinz gave a nod.

"...Thanks for listening and understanding.", Perry said, starting to choke up a bit.

They were both surprised by her voice and Perry began to laugh, finally wiping away the tear before it fell.

"Darn it, you don't even have an inator yet.", she chuckled. "Curse you Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

Doof laughed himself and placed a hand on her shoulder saying, "Hey, you're fine."

"It's still embarrassing."

"For crying? Perry the Platywoman, I cry all the time."

"Yeah. That's my point.", Perry joked. "Besides, I'm a secret agent. I'm not supposed to cry."

"Well I certainly think that it's better to cry than being cold and heartless looking.", Heinz objected.

"I suppose. Just the kinda family I was raised in though. We don't show emotions. We don't show weakness. We do and we can be taken advantage of at any time. The only enemy that can stop us is ourselves and even they won't win the fight.", Perry explained. "That's what we heard a lot."

"Well it's just my two cents. I'm glad I could help you though."

"For making me cry? Yeah you would be."

"Perry...", Heinz groaned.

"Heinz...", Perry mocked. "It's just like you."

"Well why don't you think I might just be satisfied with helping you by listening to some of your own troubles?"

"Cause... Well cause...", Perry stammered.

She wanted to say cause he could use it against her, but that'd defeat the purpose of Heinz's question. It was a bit of an eye-opener, really.

"...You go ahead and get some sleep. And just for another two cents, I'm glad I got a smarter nemesis than someone like that rhino that they sent over one time.", Doof chuckled. "I like different."

He got up and headed out. Perry was left to ponder over what had just happened. She spilled out her heart, and he didn't cause her pain from it. If anything, she only hurt herself by defeating her pride and breaking down her own stonewall. Heinz had nothing to be blamed for. And it quite frankly annoyed her. She laid back down and pondered over it some more. She had no reason though, to be annoyed. So she stopped being annoyed and did the one thing she didn't think was possible: be thankful and happy to have Heinz around.

The next morning, Peter was the first to get up. To start off a good impression, he fixed up a nice breakfast. Eggs and toast. Simple but better than cereal. But when Perry and Heinz finally dragged themselves out of bed, Heinz headed for the shower and Perry only stared at the plate of eggs in front of her.

"Hey, I may be slow but I DO know how to cook.", Peter remarked, seeing Perry not eat.

"...Actually... I-I'm sorry Peter but I'm not hungry for eggs..", Perry shook her head.

"What's wrong with'em?"

"No. It's not them. It's me. I kept having crazy dreams last night... Kinda ruined my appetite for eggs. I think I'll just have the toast..."

"Just toast?", Peter asked before coming over and checking her temperature. "Are you okay? Is it something you ate last night?"

"No. Peter, I'm fine.", Perry said, pushing his hand away. "Are YOU alright? Since when did YOU care about my health?"

"Well we're stranded agents. We gotta keep an eye out for one another, right?", Peter retorted. "And you normally eat more than toast."

Perry sighed with a smile and stood up.

"Yeah, but Peter. You only seen me eat at dinner. Breakfast is something different. Keep it light and you'll have fast feet. Eat like a panda and you'll be slower than Sirgae.", she said, poking at him in the stomach.

She took the slice of toast and headed off. After Heinz's shower, he got dressed, came back in, and sat down to a bowl of cereal. (Peter had eaten the breakfast he cooked so it wouldn't get cold.)

"Nice try though.", Heinz commented on, as he ate. "But she IS a platypus. That's kinda abominable."

"Yeah well you thought she was a boy.", Peter simply shrugged. "What would I expect?"

"So how'd you sleep?"

"Alright. You?"

"Eh it was kinda...broken.", Heinz shrugged with a smile.

"...you cheater.", Peter pouted, knowing what the smirk was for. "We were supposed to start this morning!"

"Well I can't help it if she needed someone who's...how'd she put it? Oh yeah. Cute, tall, and very easy to snuggle with."

"GET OUTTA HERE!", Peter smacked him with a newspaper. "As if she would actually say all that."

"Why Peter the Panda. You mad?", Heinz asked innocently with a wide trollfaced grin.

"I'm gonna be sick if you keep trying to make her sound like that.", Peter snuffed.

"Where IS Perry the Platywoman anyway?", Heinz asked, looking around finally.

"Okay, first off. Drop the stupid add-ons. It's just Peter and Perry. Secondly, I think she's in her room. Wouldn't be surprised. She hardly ate breakfast."

"Well that's cause I told you. She wouldn't WANNA eat the eggs.", Heinz rolled his eyes.

He finished up and headed over to her room to check up on her. But he as he came up, he noticed the door was almost entirely closed. Almost. He quietly pushed it forward, and peeked in to find Perry flipping herself back and forth on the bed. She had headphones on and a mp3-player strapped to her arm as she continued exercising. He pushed the door open a bit more and watched with a smile. Perry really liked to keep herself fit, it almost made Heinz feel ashamed of how out of shape he was.

'And she's seen me in my boxers...several times.', Heinz blushed some at the thought.

He finally decided to leave her be and closed the door. But when the door clicked shut, Perry was just taking off her headphones and pausing to catch her breath a bit. The sound did not go unnoticed. She came over, opened the door, and saw Heinz walking down the hallway, away from her.

"Ugh, you stalker!", Perry growled, making Heinz jump. "What on earth?! What?! Just because I'm a human, you suddenly wanna creep into my room 24/7?!"

"WHAT?! No! I was just coming by to see what you were up to and closed the door to give you some privacy!"

"Well that's my point! You had to come UP here to see what I'm up to! So much for last night's little talk!", she shouted, pointing an accusing finger at him.

But Heinz decided to pull a Perry and turned the finger right back at her.

"Perry, YOU'RE the only one who's still running around hating everyone!", Heinz argued. "I'M only trying to be hospitable!"

"Well if you wanna be hospitable to ME...", she said, pointing the finger at herself before turning it back to him. "Why don't YOU stay outta MY room?!"

"I WAS-", Heinz began before he stopped himself.

He wasn't gonna get anywhere if he yelled at her. Certainly wasn't going to win her heart. Instead, Heinz bit his tongue, he put his hands up, took a step back, and then turned around and walked off.

"I'll leave you alone.", he said, calmly.

'...He's getting weirder and weirder by the moment.', Perry thought to herself. 'He's really trying...isn't he?'

But when Perry got back to her room, it wasn't long till Peter came up.

"Oh, hey Peter.", she said with a slight smile.

"Hey, Perry. Just wanted to see if you're okay. I thought I heard yelling."

"Oh. Yeah. Heinz was...", she trailed off, remembering what he said. _'"Perry, YOU'RE the only one who's still running around hating everyone!"'_

"Perry?", Peter asked.

"...I'm not sure actually...", Perry finally said. "Hey, Peter? Am I accusatory?"

"...No! Of course you're not!", Peter lied.

"Peter..."

"Well you are kinda strict. Why don't you try to relax a bit?", Peter offered. "You never get a day off."

"True...", Perry said. "But then what should I do?"

"Why not we take a walk around the park before we get started on the inator?", he suggested.

"...What good would that do?", Perry asked, cocking her head to the side in slight confusion.

"Fresh air. A nice conversation. A little bit of exercise.", Peter shrugged. "And it helps keep your mind off of something that troubles you. Like your job or being a GEA. You get to see cool things and all that. Back in Seattle, I know this great little park full of statues and whatnot that I would walk to on my days off."

"...I suppose.", Perry shrugged with a slight smile.

"Trust me.", Peter said with a returning smile. "We'll have a lot of fun."

'This is going to be painful..', Peter thought to himself as he and Perry waited for Heinz to find his labcoat.

It was Perry's insistence, and obliviousness, that they were to all go out. Heinz finally came down stairs, pulling on his jacket and Perry smiled, pleased not to have been kept waiting long. Peter took the liberty of holding open the door for Perry but slipped out as soon as she passed by, slamming the glass into Heinz's face. Heinz growled and opened it himself, catching up with the others.

"So anywhere in particular?", Heinz asked.

"Well Peter said goin' through the park so I guess that's where we're heading.", Perry shrugged.

"Well it could be anywhere you wanna go, Perry.", Peter offered. "Not specifically towards the park."

"No no. No, I think the park's a great idea.", Heinz said, waving a hand aside dismissively.

"Well then, to the park!", Perry smiled brightly, making Heinz melt some under his surface.

They walked and they talked. They talked about Peter's adventures in Seattle, they talked about funny moments between Perry and Heinz. Owca base issues. This and that.

Suddenly Perry stopped, right in the middle of a step and before Heinz and Peter could turn around to see what's happened, she was gone.

"Hey, wait a minute Ferb! Lemme catch up!", a young boy with red hair yelled as he ran by with another boy with green hair.

"Hey Phineas! Don't leave without me!", a girl with long black hair said as she chased after them.

"Cute kids.", Heinz noted with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess. Seem awfully familiar though...", Peter said, scratching his head.

It took him a moment to remember that they were Perry's owners and the red-one's girlfriend. But by that time, Perry dropped out of a tree panting some and she looked back as Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella ran off.

"Oh! There you are, Perry.", Heinz mentioned. "Where'd you go?"

"Um... I thought I saw a bluebird in trouble up there.", she lied, pointing up into the tree.

Heinz looked up, but found no bluebirds. He looked back at Perry skeptically and Perry offered a sheepish grin.

"...Hey Perry? Aren't those two your owners?", Peter said, making Perry face-palm herself.

"Your-!", Heinz gaped, looking back behind him.

"I'm gonna KILL you Peter!", she hissed at him.

"What?! What'd I-", it finally struck Peter as Heinz whirled back around to Perry.

"Those kids are your owners?!", he repeated in astonishment.

"Ohhhhh..", Peter said, cringing some as Perry scowled menacingly at him. "...Oops?"

"OOPS?! YOU STUPID, JERK OFF!", Perry finally went off and yelled at him. "I swear! Of EVERYONE I know, why is it that I'm stuck with YOU?! You're slow, you're stupid, you're nothing but a waste of fur you good-for-nothing free-loader! You're lucky you're too valuable to Francis or otherwise maybe scraping on the streets would FINALLY get something crammed through that thick head of yours!"

For once, Peter actually felt hurt by what she said. And Heinz was soon victim as he placed a hand on her shoulder, hoping to help calm her down before she made too big of a scene.

"Perry. Pl-"

"And Heinz. You have less than 2 seconds to remove your hand or you'll be LOSING IT!", she snapped, making his hand instantly fly off. "Cause now that's it's finally out, I KNOW what you're gonna do. I don't care how much you wanna deny it, you already said it yourself! Lies are the glue that hold society together so yeah! It ain't gonna work! And if you do lay your filthy and disgustingly long hands on either one of them, I will personally rip out that fire hydrant in your leg with YOUR OWN titanium arms!"

"...You have a fire hydrant in your LEG?", Peter asked in a moment of complete ADD.

"Oh forget the both of you! You're both retards!", Perry huffed indignantly as she stormed off. "Don't even know WHY I'm wasting my time with this silly walk around town."

"...Niiice.", Heinz said, folding his arms across his chest.

"What? I just asked about your-"

"Oh forget it. Perry!", Heinz said, coming up after her.

"Just leave me alone!", she hissed.

"Perry, please come on.", Heinz said, taking her by the wrist. "Look, I'm sorry your big secret was blown."

"Yeah right."

"Yeah! Right! I really am!", Heinz insisted. "Believe it or not, I don't have any intention on doing anything with your owners anyway. Look, I already had a broken family. Heck I've MADE a broken family. Why on earth would I wanna crush another kid's family by taking away their platypus?"

"Because. You're evil.", Perry said, turning on him with firey brown eyes.

"Hey, Perry. Really now. How often am I TRULY evil?", Heinz said, knowing it was a verbal slap to himself, but it did carry logic and Perry was unable to deny it. "Look, please. Try to calm down a bit. You had a bad night's sleep last night, you hardly ate anything today, please don't go and push yourself any more already, alright? I swear. The secret's safe with me."

"Well gee. I dunno. How good are you at keeping secrets?", she said, still skeptical.

"Well if I told you, I'd be doing a bad job now wouldn't I?", Heinz said with a smile.

Perry finally managed a smile and sighed once again. She had been doing that a lot, it seemed to the mad doctor. But the platypus knew it was almost a habit of her daily breathing and she looked at the ground.

"Sorry... It's just so..."

"Embarrassing?"

"I was thinking terrifying.", she admitted. "I know you're nothing to be scared OF, but I'm scared for them. I'd hate to think of anything bad happening."

"Hey, if it helps. I'll do my best to make sure nothing does."

"Well you can do your best by kindly forgetting all about them.", she said with a slight smile.

"Forget about who?", he joked, making her laugh.

"Hey, Perry.", Peter finally said, coming up. "Was curious if you'd like an ice-cream cone?"

He pulled two from behind his back and Perry smiled in delighted surprise.

"And it's strawberry. My favorite.", she said happily, as she took the ice-cream.

"So, forgive for the blurt-out?", Peter asked hopefully as he licked his own.

"I guess. I know it's just a part of who you are.", Perry said, with a slight shake of her head. "Thank you Peter. Does Heinz get one?"

"Uh, sorry. They were all out.", Peter shrugged. "These are the last two."

"Well I'll share if you don't mind, Heinz.", she offered, holding it out. "Don't wanna be unfair."

It surprised Heinz some, but he smiled and thanked her for the offer. He took a lick, discreetly sticking his tongue out in triumph as the panda only scowled and ate his own in bitter defeat.

* * *

_YAY PERRYSHMIRTZ! =D But of course, I'm gonna be leveling out the playing field. XD_


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm not trying to insult you, Peter! It's just my opinion, is all!", Perry was saying as Peter huffed back into the DEI with Doofenshmirtz laughing his head off behind them both.

"You're practically calling me Billy Joel!", Peter said, turning around on his heels. "Just cause THAT freak's invention turned my black fur into port-wine birthmarks all over my face and skin!"

He pointed one of his darker colored hands at Doofenshmirtz as he spoke and Perry only shook her head with a chuckle.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to say you look like Billy Joel.", she explained. "I'm just sayin' that the fur patterns DO happen to make your eyes look kinda wide. Like you're always surprised or something."

"It's still not funny.", Peter growled.

"No, of course not.", Heinz said. "It's flat-out hilarious of an opinion!"

"Shut it!", Peter warned.

"Peter, relax! If it helps you any better, at least you don't look like Agent O.", Perry said with a nod.

"...Octavius the Octopus?", Peter asked, after a moment.

" Wh? N-no. No. Ollie the Owl.", Perry explained. "Remember? Friday nights?"

"OH! Yeah. Yeah, I HOPE I don't look like him.", Peter said with slight uneasiness.

"Who's Ollie the Owl?", Heinz asked.

"Oh he was one of our poker players on Friday nights while Peter was still in the Danville area.", Perry explained.

"And boy did he have the WORST poker-face.", Peter said with a chuckle. "Terrible for the shifty eyes thing."

"What? He was obvious?", Heinz asked.

"Obvious? Heinz, owls can't turn their eyes in their heads like you or I could.", Perry started to say.

"So when Ollie's trying to put on his poker-face, his head whips from side to side, it's freaking hilarious!", Peter finished up, shaking his head from side to side as he spoke to demonstrate.

The group laughed some more and Perry started to head to the elevator.

"So, jealous much?", Heinz asked as they trailed behind her. "About what happened in the park?"

"You know, I've been trying so hard not to hit you upside the head for that.", Peter said as his smile stiffened.

"You guys comin?", Perry asked, standing in the awaiting elevator.

They agreed and stepped up the pace. At the apartment, Norm offered a batch of muffins and with one in one hand and a screwdriver in the other, the gang got to work on making a reverse inator so Peter and Perry could be sent back home. Unfortunately, Perry was not quite as active on it as she would hope. Her watch had been beeping for the day and for the most part, she ignored it. Namely because it was left in her bedroom while she, Peter, and Heinz were out. But now she was back and she knew Monogram was getting anxious to hear a report on WHY his top and lowest agents have yet to check in.

And so while Perry stood there, staring into space for the moment as thoughts of Monogram's fury and disappoint flooded her mind, Peter noticed, and knew without a doubt what she must be fearing.

"Perry.", he said, finally cutting through her thoughts as she blinked and looked at him worried while the watch beeped as fast as her heart pounded. "Don't even go there."

"B...But I gotta check in!", she said, feeling much like a whipped dog. "He's gonna be SOO mad when he finds out I've been ignoring him...!"

"And what are you gonna say? 'No, Franny. It's me. Agent P! We lost the fight and have been turned to humans and are now forced to stay with a crazy idiot'?", Peter asked.

"...No...", Perry sighed. "But I gotta tell him SOMETHING."

"Oh come on, Peter. Why can't she?", Heinz interjected.

"Cause if she does, she will be revealing the break of several rules to the O.W.C.A. and will invariably dishonor the image of being a top agent.", Peter retorted, scowling across the machine at him. "A top agent doesn't allow the enemy to win. EVER."

"Well that's a little strict. You guys didn't necessarily LOSE. You just got turned into humans. It was an accident."

Perry heaved a sigh and said, "Heinz... You don't get it. I'm the best agent. I have a reputation. To allow my nemesis to have gotten away with using his inator the way he had planned without a back-fire to it, I've disgraced my title of being the best of the best. The role model. It'd be shameful to show my face to Major Monogram unless it was that of a platypus."

Heinz, now feeling very stupid, decided to simply nod in understanding, promise to get the inator running soon, and go back to his work. Perry sighed again, and Peter placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Looking over, seeing a comforting smile, Perry couldn't help but smile back.

"Why don't you go ahead and gimme the watch and stuff till we get this thing going?", Peter asked, holding out a hand.

Perry was hesitant at first, but handed the communications over and smiled a bit more. Peter placed them on a counter behind him and the two got back to work. As they worked, Peter took a coffee break and Heinz had found a hopeful window of opportunity. But what to say? He had something in mind, but wasn't entirely sure if he could say it without sounding like an idiot.

"Umm... P-Perry?", Heinz began, trying hard not to stammer.

"Yes?", she asked, not taking her eyes off the project.

"Uh... I uh.. I-I just wanted to say u-uhm...", he trailed off, his face suddenly becoming bright red.

Perry gave him an expectant glance and Heinz knew he had to say something. But it was hard to speak suddenly. His mouth was dry, his throat was sore and if he didn't make sure to keep a good hold on the wrench, it would easily slip through his sweaty hands.

"...Were you gonna say something, Heinz?", Perry asked, finally pausing to look at the frozen man.

"... M-Make sure you don't screw that in too tightly. Um..", Heinz finally blurted out, now feeling incredibly stupid. "U-Um.. It'll-It'll-I-It'll short-out the-the-the voltage."

"...Thanks. Are you alright? You look like you have a fever.", she asked, coming over to check his temperature.

Heinz kept his distance and gave a weak smile though Perry wasn't entirely sure if she bought it.

"I'm fine! Fine. I-I just didn't want to- didn't want to sound like I'm criticizing you or-or any- or anything.", he said quickly.

"You sure? You look pale AND red in the face.", she said, looking something of concerned.

"I'm okay! Really? You know what? I think I'll just go and um.. And-and um, ch-check my temperature.", Heinz said, turning and almost running out the door.

But as Heinz began to walk out of the room, Peter began to come in through the doorway and Perry was following after Heinz, saying that she should come and make sure too. In a sudden act of petty vengeance and with a wicked smile, Heinz stuck out his foot as Peter crossed by him. As Peter tripped, Perry got in the way to try and catch him but the surprising weight of the panda and the extra feet under and in front of his was enough to bring them both down and give the exact opposite of Heinz's intention.

Peter wasn't entirely sure how long he just sat there in shock, but it wasn't until Perry was already five feet away and he was being dragged to his feet by Doofenshmirtz that the sudden lip-lock he found himself in with Perry had sat off an entirely new train of thoughts in the panda's mind. How long where they kissing? Why did Perry run away? Was it about five seconds? Why is Doof suddenly mad? Was Perry mad at him? Wait, isn't it Doof's fault that Peter tripped anyway? Hang on, now what was he rambling on about?

While Peter was off in his own world, Heinz and Perry were both exploding in their own different manners. Perry could barely believe that for the brat of a panda-cub, Mr. Slow, the scourge of the O.W.C.A., everything that Perry had come to be the exact opposite of, suddenly kissed her! Was it intentional? It couldn't have been. So is she enjoying it or in absolute disgust? She could barely make out what she was thinking or feeling. And Heinz was beyond pissed off as he barked his head off at Peter for being such a sleazeball, trying to "make-out" with Perry like that. Of course, empty words, as he does have the tendency to ramble, but there was more fury built up in Heinz than Perry or Peter realized.

"Well look, Stupid! I'm not kissing her NOW am I?!", Peter exclaimed in his defense. "It was an accident."

"You're still lucky I don't just-"

"HEINZ!", Perry finally manage to cut through, causing both to stare at her and even though her face was on fire and she wasn't sure what to say, enough was definitely enough of the bickering. "...It's FINE. It WAS an accident...RIGHT. PETER?"

"Y-yes! Of course! I wouldn't ACTUALLY just try to- to-! ...What?! I wouldn't!", Peter groaned, now at a lost for his own words. "I wasn't actually trying to kiss you or anything! And Bro? Hands off the shirt."

"Yeah, right. Or what?", Heinz scoffed, dropping Peter to the floor as Perry's color cooled. "In fact. You know what? I'll go ahead and say what. Perry, I was wondering if you would like to accompany me for my weekly habit of eating out for once tonight."

"What?", Perry asked, now at a complete lost.

"Well I don't cook ALL the time and I do kinda hate eating alone. Would you like to go out with me tonight?", Heinz said, slightly wondering how long his courage and stupidity for blurting this out will last.

"Um... Alright? I guess?", Perry asked, her blush returning. "What about Pe-"

"There's only room for two. It's one of their busier nights tonight.", Heinz quickly lied. "Just us. No Peter. Is that alright?"

"Um.. Okay.", Perry said, though still unsure of what she just agreed to.

"Good. Now I'm off to make sure I'm not actually running a fever. You guys go on ahead and continue on the invention. We'll leave at 7 and if I catch you kissing her again, Peter, I'm personally gonna kill you.", Heinz said with great confidence and absolute nonchalance before pivoting on his heels and heading out the door.

Perry and Peter only glanced at each other in confusion and as soon as the door was closed behind him, Heinz held his pounding chest in shock, fear, hatred, humiliation, and adoration all at once as he stumbled his way through the hallways to the bathroom.

"Holy Doonkleberries, did I just actually SAY that?!", he wondered aloud to himself.

Well he did. And by the time 7 came around the corner, Perry was in the bathroom brushing out her hair. She didn't normally go out on any formal occasion. The last time she ate out, she was on a lunch date with one of the undercover Owca majors in Paris. Not really that formal. After making sure she looked alright, she came out and found Heinz also trying to comb down his hair. Though, of course, he failed to keep the messy mass under control. He saw her, she smiled a bit, he smiled back, and they began to head out.

"So, why can't Norm or I go too?", Peter asked, following them out.

"Cause it's special reservations and there's only room for two.", Heinz repeated with a slight smirk.

"Hmph.", Peter simply replied.

He followed them out the door while Heinz gave last-minute cautions about Norm and after they were out of sight, Peter just scowled hatefully that Heinz got to go out with Perry. He stood there for a good ten minutes before his mind wondered off the subject and his expression relaxed. Another 2 minutes and he began to scratch his stomach, wondering about what was in the fridge. A good 5 minutes before he caught back onto his spite about Doof and Perry dating. And it wasn't until about half an hour after Heinz and Perry left that Peter made a sudden revelation.

"ONLY room for two?!", he suddenly exclaimed before waiting for another 10 minutes when he finally decided to huff off. "I'll show him..."

Before Peter huffed off in indignation, as Heinz and Perry walked down the streets, things, for once, finally seemed to relax for the two.

"So, this oh-so specially-reserved restaurant is only a few blocks away then, yeah?", Perry asked.

"Well, sorry for lying but it's not really THAT fancy or anything.", Heinz said with a sheepish grin. "Just kinda thought it'd be nice to have a break from uh.."

"The grown-up two-year old?", Perry guessed with a slight smirk, making Heinz laugh.

"Is that what you think of him, or are you just reading my mind?", he asked between laughs.

"Uh, Doof? Anyone who knows Peter the Panda things of him as such.", Perry said with a chuckle. "Though I must say he's certainly grown up quite a bit since last I was with him."

"Really? I guess it'd take someone like you to know that, though, huh?", he replied.

"Well, I think being a human might have something to do with it. Side effects or something.", Perry said with a shrug.

"Oh! Where you- Have you been feeling any weird side-effects?", Heinz asked.

"No. Not that I'm aware of. But walking without a tail surely is BOUND to feel a little weird, right?", Perry said with a slight smirk.

"Oh yeah. That was real weird after the whole, platypus vs platypus thing.", Heinz said with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, I'll bet.", Perry chuckled.

Conversation went a bit dry, and Heinz scratched the back of his head, unsure of what to speak of next.

"...Oh! You know what I've finally had the chance to notice?", he asked.

"What's that?"

"Well now that you can talk, we can finally have a DECENT conversation!", Heinz said with a slight smile, earning a curious look from the other. "Well, Perry. Let's be blunt. I can't understand platypus. Thus conversation is only one-sided. NOW I have a chance to actually hear YOU talk. Hear YOUR opinions or hear about YOUR life or something."

"Well I doubt you'd really wanna hear much of my life.", Perry began to say with a slight chuckle of disbelief.

"No! No I really do!", Heinz said earnestly. "You're normally so quiet, it'd be kinda nice to finally know more about you, Perry."

"Well... I guess there's some parts I could tell you.", Perry said with a shrug before stopping in their walk and placing her hands on her hips. "But only after YOU tell ME where you got off calling me 'Perry' instead of 'Perry the Platypus'."

"Oh! Oh well um...", Heinz blushed a bit from embarrassment but, honestly? It did make conversation easier. "It was Peter's suggestion. Thought it might make more sense anyway, with you not being a platypus and all."

Perry shrugged and continued walking with him before saying, "Well I dunno about him, but I actually kinda like the add-on."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's kinda like your own personal label. Or a different name and life I can go by where as under the name 'Agent P' I'm thinking more of a strict and serious agent and 'Perry' I'm thinking of back home. 'Perry the Platypus', it's like my casual personnel while still maintaining my anthropomorphism.", she explained.

"Sounds like a complicated life-style.", Heinz observed.

"Sounds like it, but it's not really the case.", she shook her head. "It's just the meaning of the title. So for you to call me Perry, it's kind of a weird and almost disturbing mix of the two I.D.s."

"Alright. Fine. I understand...", he began to say before smiling down at her. "..Perry the Platypus."

Perry smiled back and they made their way a bit more before Heinz opened the door of a small restaurant at the end of the sidewalk and stepped back with a slight bow to let Perry in. Perry gave a small nod and a polite smile, went in, and Heinz walked in right behind her.

"Well, looks like you DO have a few good manners.", she said in a joking manner.

"Perry the Platypus, you should know better than anyone I'm not ENTIRELY as evil as I make myself out to be.", he said with a chuckle.

They got a table and took a look at their menus. Heinz made a few suggestions and when the waiter came around, they placed their order and resumed their previous conversation.

"So. Bout your life?", Heinz asked, ready to hear.

"Well.. Gosh, don't really know where to start.", Perry shrugged. "You already know my birth and the basic outline of growing up in Owca."

"Did you ever had friends?", he asked with a shrug.

"Oh yeah. Pinky the Chihuahua, Freddy the Frog, a lot of the animals were my friends. And, of course, there was always the Monograms and Carl when he came to work."

"Wait, you mean Carl hasn't ALWAYS been apart of the O.W.C.A.?", Heinz asked. "I thought he was like, one of Monogram's sons or something."

"Umm.. Not that I'm aware of. No. Last I knew, Carl had no family. That's why it was okay for him to work with the organization.", Perry replied with a shake of her head. "No. Monty's his son. I think Monty's siblings already moved out."

"He has other siblings?"

"Heinz. Do you KNOW how old Major Monogram is? Course he has other children. Not just Monty who JUST graduated from HIGH SCHOOL.", she said with a bit of a "Uh-DUH!", expression before she took a sip of her water.

"Sorry. Guess it never really came to mind.", Heinz shrugged. "Guess it makes sense though."

Perry chuckled a bit and went on. She talked of her childhood, how she loved to play games and little pranks on the other agents. How she tried to be nice to Peter, but always received the cold shoulder. How the reason why Peter gave her said cold shoulder was because of his own fails and jealousy. The day Monogram explained what she really was and how nervous she was to meet her family.

"Actually, I was even nervous about being assigned to only one nemesis, even.", she said with a slight laugh as dinner was served.

"Really? YOU were nervous about ME?"

"Well I didn't really know you.", Perry shrugged. "I didn't know you'd be so silly, clumsy, and comical."

"...You think I'm funny?", Heinz asked with a slight smile.

"Well, gee. When you roller-skated into that toilet, gosh, Heinz. It was the most dramatic and epic thing I've ever seen of you.", she said sarcastically with a smirk as Heinz's face flushed at the memory.

"WHY do people still remember that?!", he asked in exclamation as he hid his face in his hands.

"I'm not sure. I think you were busy thinking about the shoe-lace...thingy.", she shrugged. "But the remix WAS kinda funny."

"I only pray that Roger didn't share it on Facebook with the family in Gimmelschtump.", Heinz sighed.

"Knowing him? He'd probably not care.", Perry shrugged. "He probably looked, laughed, and went on."

"Yeah, probably.", Heinz shrugged with a shake of his head.

Perry took a bite of her dinner and smiled as her eyes lit up.

"Wow! This is really good, Heinz!", she exclaimed.

"Well it's a good thing I didn't pick something you'd be allergic to then isn't it?", Heinz said with a chuckle. "By the way, Perry the Platypus? Um.. Nothing personal, but people don't normally talk with food in their mouth."

"Oh!", Perry exclaimed before quickly finishing the food in her mouth. "Sorry."

"No it's alright. Just saying.", Heinz said with a dismissive wave. "Not in public, anyway. At home, yeah it's okay...ish."

She laughed a bit and they continued talking. All in all, it was a rather good night. For once, Perry actually felt comfortable. No pressure from Owca, no pressure from her host family. It was just her being her with only simple-minded, actually rather considerate, Heinz Doofenshmirtz. It was almost a shame they had to end the night and head back home.

On the way back, Heinz couldn't help but remember Peter waiting for them and he couldn't help then to remember him and Perry kissing. He had an idea for a little while about kissing Perry before Peter and Perry did, but he wasn't sure if he could pull it off. Not without, surely, passing out.

"Umm... Perry the Platypus?", he began, earning her attention. "Y-you know how we hate each other, to the point that we treat it like... like lovers?"

"Um... Yeah?", Perry asked, unsure where he's going with this.

"Well... Well figuratively, wouldn't that mean that we hate each other SOO much, that if we were to be NICE to each other or...or to LOVE each other, that would actually be like- be like, the worst thing, right?", he asked, his face growing warm, especially as she paused and gave him a curious look. "W-well see cause to us, hate is love and love is hate. So if we REALLY hate each other- er if I like, if I- if I- if I tried to like, um... kiss you or anything... That'd be l-li-like worse than a- than a punch i-in the face...right?"

"Um...", Perry began, blushing. "I um.. Well I guess it would depend on how um...ho-how you would kiss me."

Heinz wasn't sure if he could do or say how he meant. He was surprised she hadn't just blown him off right at the start! But Perry was waiting and he had to do something soon or else look like an idiot again.

"Uh...", he began, feeling his legs shake down to his shoes. "K-kinda like.. W-w-well I mean.."

He simply decided the best way to get it over with was just to do it fast so he scooped up the agent, kissed her, and prayed desperately that something bad wouldn't happen for once. Well his prayers were answered, in a sense. For the moment, Perry only stood there in shock as Heinz continued to kiss her and hold her in his thin and unusually long arms. It was interesting, really, how either his arms were just that long or she was that small, but he almost could wrap just one arm around her entire waist if he chose so. And Perry was just left in a state of absolute confusion. It was so wrong, to be kissing her nemesis like this. To even let him go ahead and keep kissing her! But if it was so wrong, so disgusting, why did she bring her arms up around his neck? Why was she kissing him back? Somehow, these questions didn't matter. They kissed, and Heinz couldn't have been more happy as he brought up a hand and brushed it through her short teal hair.

Suddenly, there was a gasp and before Heinz knew it, Perry was already walking away very quickly.

"...Wh-! Perry-! P-Perry the Platypus!", he exclaimed, trying to catch up. "No! Wait up!"

"N-no! Just lemme alone for a minute!", Perry said, trying to keep her face turned away from him as he caught up.

"No, look I'm sorry! I-I didn't- I-I mean- I-I'm not trying to-"

"No, Heinz. I don't care. I got the point. It's torture.", she said quickly and definitely.

While Heinz was busy trying to apologize for the sudden come-on, Perry was doing everything she could to keep him from knowing she liked it. She couldn't let him know she liked kissing him. Liked it how his hand brushed her like when she was platypus. She couldn't let him know something personal about her like that. And as they walked back, now in awkward silence, Perry actually felt pain. And it was torture. Cause as much as she hated to admit it, she missed someone loving her. She hadn't been with Phineas or Ferb for only a day and a half but she missed them more than ever. With Peter and Doof's odd behaviors, it was very much indeed, torture.


	5. Chapter 5

When Perry and Heinz made their way back to the DEI, it seemed like there was no end to the list of surprises. However long they were gone, it was plenty of time for the reject of the Owca labs to almost have the inator finished! This was very bad news for Heinz. If the inator is finished soon, he might not ever have a chance to win Perry's heart cause then she'd be whisked away back to Owca and her family and everything. Unfortunately, Perry was absolutely delighted as she saw Peter pick himself up from working underneath the belly of the machine.

"Oh my gosh! Peter?! Did you do this all on your own?!", she asked, coming closer to examine his work.

"Uhh..", Peter began until Norm came in to interrupt.

"I've got the snacks! Hello, Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus!", he chimed happily. "Did you two have a nice dinner?"

"Uh, yeah Norm.", Heinz mumbled while Perry went on with her praise.

"Oh, thank you Peter!", she said, hugging him tightly for the good work. "You don't know how much I've missed home!"

"Well, I kinda took a guess that you've missed it pretty bad.", Peter said with a sly smile behind her back and a shrug. "So I wanted to help ya out."

"And it looks like we could have this thing working tomorrow morning!", she said, looking over it some more. "I can't believe you fixed so much of it! It must've taken a lot of research on your part. No offense."

"Oh no! None taken.", he said with a shake of his head as she backed up.

Perry just simply smiled at him. She hadn't known that actually Peter had asked for Norm's help for almost the whole thing. But it was such a sight to see from the panda that had a hard time learning two plus two and to know he did it for her, she almost couldn't help quickly placing a kiss on his cheek.

Peter blushed from the affection while Heinz fumed. He was THAT close to throwing up a lung from his nerves being wracked and the panda was the one getting all the attention. But Perry thought it was getting late and everyone agreed as she went off to head for bed. Once out of the room though, the feud was strong.

"Oh, YEAH. SURE. You wanted so BADLY to help her out!", Heinz started off in obvious sarcasm.

"Well you know what? You oughta be thanking me, really.", Peter said, getting up off the floor. "Cause thanks to this invention in the first place, we all came to understand you weren't gay."

"Wha the-? What on earth are you even talking about?!"

"Doofenshmirtz. Any idiot could look at you and know you got it BAD for Perry. But you didn't even know she was a she before you had this machine! You're SOO pathetic, you're willing to be gay for a girl platypus.", Peter chuckled, thinking the idea of it sounded rather silly.

"Oh yeah? Well maybe Perry likes-", Heinz cut himself off as the last of his sentence came to mind and found to be rather contradicting. "...the way I am!"

"Smooth.", Peter retorted sarcastically. "Still. You should only thank me for getting this done sooner."

"You do realize that the sooner you get it done, the sooner she'll go back to hating us both?", Heinz retorted, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah. And you'll lose."

"So would you!"

"As long as you don't ACTUALLY make her fall in love with you, I'm perfectly fine with that.", Peter shrugged.

"WHAT?! Do you not even care about her?! Are you just toying with her emotions cause I happen to love her?!", Heinz said, feeling something of a weight lifted off his chest for saying it aloud as well as a terror in case if he said it a bit TOO loud.

"Hey, Dumkoph. If Perry falls in love with her nemesis, the entire Organization Without a Cool Acronym will be DESTROYED. We'll all lose our jobs, including her.", Peter explained. "She loves you, I don't get a pay check, it's my duty to help keep her in line. Night."

Peter pivoted on his heels and began to head for the door but was stopped by the mad doctor.

"Hang on a second there, you!", Heinz snarled, grabbing the back of the panda's shirt.

"Hey! Lay off!", Peter tried to smack his hand off.

"Oh it's just a shirt!"

"It's my fur and I don't want YOUR grubby hands all over it!", Peter retorted, pushing Heinz off of him and into the inator.

As Heinz stumbled backwards, he tried to reach for something to catch his balance. His hand landed on a big red button and with a few blaring beeps, Peter just had enough time to jump back some and shield his face as the whole thing exploded right onto Heinz. Heinz emerged from the pile of metal and wires, coughing and sputtering from the smoke as red blood trickled down his soot-covered skin.

"Guys? I heard an explosion and was wondering-", Perry began as she came into the room before shouting in surprise. "AAH! WHA-! WHAT THE F-?! What on earth happened?! How'd it blow up?!"

"Heinz pressed the button!", Peter quickly blamed, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"Oh, I'M the culprit?! HE'S the one that pushed me into the machine to start off with!", Heinz said, pointing back as he stood up.

"Yeah but HE'S the one that-"

"SHUT! UP!", Perry shouted as she stomped her foot and she quickly caught the attentions of the other two. "Forget it! Like I should even-! You know wha-? AUGGGGH! You boys! You're all alike! Giant. BABIES!"

She she panted a bit from her yelling and then, something unexpected happen. Tears actually came forth. The more Perry stared down at Heinz and the broken machine, the more the tears came up and over her eyes and dripped down her face. She sighed and held her aching head before walking over and wiping a few tears away.

"Heinz, are you alright?", she asked coming over. "You know what? Don't answer. I can see you're bleeding. Come on, let's get you cleaned up a bit."

She picked up Heinz, but Heinz wasn't even paying attention to the cuts and blood on him nor how badly they stung. No. His attention was solely on the platywoman in front of him. Not even romantically, either. His attention was more... worried than anything. She was trying so hard to just keep strong and press on with life. She was even shoving aside her own tears, her own obvious hurt, that it actually showed more to Heinz how much she really did miss home than he could've first thought. For the longest time, Perry had always seemed like someone who was strong and heartless, and business-minded. Aside from the night where they talked of Perry's nightmare, Heinz had never seen Perry cry before and this was even worse. The tears just slipped away, one by one, Heinz could almost feel the bulge in his own throat of not just sobbing and letting it go the way it's trying to. Doof had then realized how much pain he did cause her and it was indeed more than any amount of physical pain he had suffered.

Perry took him to the bathroom, sat him on the toilet, and began to pull out medical equipment. She got a wash cloth wet, wrung it some, and began to clean up the soot and blood before moving on to clean the cuts. It was only then that Heinz had finally noticed how badly he got scratched up yet it still didn't matter.

"...Perry? I-"

"Heinz, I don't wanna hear it.", she said, her voice baring anger and self-control. "I'm so- I mean, I just don't wanna hear it."

His heart sank but he remained quiet, much to the platypus' silent surprise. She finished him up, put the things away, and then headed for bed without so much as a "good night". Heinz walked back into the room where Peter had picked up some of the scrap metal and sat it aside neatly. They noticed each other, gave a mention of going to bed, and left the room without another word. Enough had happened that day. Another fight was the last thing that they needed.

Heinz was in heaven. Or at least, the closest, earthly thing, to it. He held Perry closer as they snuggled together on the couch, sharing one more, delectable kiss. No Peter. No Owca. No Norm, even. Just them. Just this moment.

"I love you, Perry the Platypus.", Heinz whispered softly, making the platywoman beneath his arms, giggle as his breath brushed past her ear. "I love you so much. From the first fight we've had. The first moment I saw you. I don't want you to go."

But then, Perry's smile faded. She suddenly seemed unsure. Heinz was surprised to see her pull away and look at him worriedly, but before he knew it, she was already backing up from him, as if afraid to reveal this sudden secret.

"I... I'm sorry Heinz.", she said, making his hair stand on end in alarm. "But.. I don't love you. I.. I just can't."

"Wha? Perry the Platypus! Perry the Platypus, why no-?", Heinz began, before Perry shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but...my heart already belongs to someone else.", she said, turning her head away.

For the moment, Heinz feared she was meaning Peter. Did she? Did he actually lose? Was he not worth it? But then another human crashed in through a window nearby. He was just about as tall as Perry and had peachy colored hair. He wore a fedora and was dressed in a black trench-coat and carried a sabre as if Zoro. His voice even sounded like Antonio Banderas as Perry stood nearby and was scooped into his arms while he spoke.

"Ah, Perry. My dearest love.", he said, kissing her hand.

"I'm sorry, Heinz. But my heart belongs to Pinky the Chihuahua.", she said before flashing a bright and devilish smile at the man beside her.

"What?! But-! But Perry the Platypus! I love you!", Heinz was saying, trying to get to her, though it seemed like she was only moving further and further away.

Doof suddenly jolted upright in his bed with a yelp and looked about in the dark room, awaking from the dream. He saw what was going on and laid back down, sighing a bit that he's fallen in love this bad. He wondered about Perry. How upset she was earlier that night. Er...yesterday according to his alarm clock. Would she love him? Does she? She did kiss him back before she slipped out and walked away. Maybe she does. Maybe he was being stupid again and just getting his hopes up too high. After all, how often does that happen? In fact, why on earth would Perry want him? Why would anyone? He simply sighed and rolled over in his bed. The only thing to do, was wait and see. See if she changes her mind. See if she shows any affection to him. But Heinz did know one thing he was going to do. Whether it was for love, hate, friendship, human or platypus, he never, EVER, wanted to hurt her, like he did last night.

The next morning, Perry woke up and fixed some coffee. The entirety of yesterday washed over her and she still wasn't sure how to react. Peter was being so nice, trying so hard to get them back home. And Heinz, Perry couldn't even begin what to think of him. It's like everything suddenly flipped and she wasn't sure what to expect. He's been nice. He's been calm. He's been quiet. He's tried to be good to her. He kissed her! Her anger flared up some as she remembered playing "oblivious" only to have him suddenly kiss her like that. She sighed as she remembered kissing him back... Him AND Peter.

Her face burned at these thoughts and she tried to deter her mind. Phineas and Ferb. By tonight, hopefully, she'll see their faces once again and everything will be the way it's always been. It'll be normal. It'll be...just the way...it's always been...

She took a glance about the apartment. She was all alone. She sighed and leaned back on the counter as she drank her cup of coffee, allowing her face to flush red, allowing her tears to fall, her pain to hurt, her emotions to carry out with her thoughts. She was surprised to notice, really, just how much she was crying. She missed her family. She was confused about Peter and Heinz. She was never sure what to think or how to react. Francis will kill her. Her childhood was actually very strict and very cold in comparison to Doof's when she paused and took a look at it. She uttered a few platypus cusses as she thought of Doof and Peter. She blushed some more and felt an odd tingle as the two continued in her thoughts. The funny thing is, though, was that as a genetically engineered platypus, Perry didn't really have electro-receptors. She couldn't sense when someone moved nearby by the electricity generated by the neurons in their muscles and brains. But there was something about yesterday, when she was kissed. Maybe it was just a normal reaction, but she felt like electricity was bouncing all over, in and around, her mouth. Especially with as much pressure as Doof applied! Again, her face grew warm and she could feel her guts churning. Was this that torture thing Heinz was talking about? It kinda hurt, in the understanding that it wasn't what she's used to. But she almost, dared she say it, liked it.

Suddenly a door closed and Perry had to quickly wipe up her eyes and try to seem normal. Her heart was still pounding at the fear of getting caught as Peter came in through the door.

"Mornin'.", Peter greeted. "Oh, good. Coffee."

"Uh, ahem! G-good morning.", Perry said, her voice still raspy and her breathing shaky.

"You alright?", Peter asked as he found a mug and poured coffee into it. "You sound...different."

"I'm fine. I'm just still waking up.", Perry covered over, clearing her throat some more.

"Oh.. Kay.", Peter shrugged.

He put in some cream and sugar, stirred it up, and sipped on his coffee. Not long then, did Heinz enter the room, scratching and yawning.

"Morning, Heinz.", Perry nodded in his direction as she sipped her coffee.

"Doofenshmirtz.", Peter nodded.

"Nnnn..", Heinz mumbled as he tried to find a mug. He saw the coffee made and looked back at the other two. "Who made the coffee?"

"I did.", Perry gave a nod.

Heinz poured some and took a sip before giving a smile and nodding to her. "Thank you, very much."

"No prob. You aren't the only one who needs it.", Perry said with a chuckle, earning one in return.

"Nope! Heaven knows, Peter needs it the most to function right.", Heinz said, making Perry laugh and Peter chuckle in less amusement than the platypus.

"Very...funny.", he said, rather coldly before he drank his coffee some more.

"Oh, come now, Peter. Lighten up. After all, isn't that why you were reassigned to Seattle?", Perry teased, giggling a bit more.

"Mm-hmm. Hey, Heinz, what's for breakfast?", Peter said, hoping to deter Perry from a good moment with his rival.

"Me?", Heinz asked. "Why do I have to choose?"

"Well you are still our host till we get the heck outta here.", Peter retorted.

"...True...sorta.", Heinz shrugged. "I dunno. Should I make pancakes or should we just settle for something more simple for you Peter and have cereal? I think I still have some Captain Crunch."

"For your amusement?", Peter snickered.

"Ha ha! No, Heinz. I think if anything, pancakes would be the better option. That way you don't have to go buy more cereal to help Peter fill his stomach half-full.", Perry giggled.

Heinz laughed, Peter's blood boiled, and it was agreed on. Pancakes. Heinz began to drink his coffee faster, and Perry and Peter exchanged surprised glances. After a moment, Heinz still chugging his whole cup down in one shot, Perry checked her watch to see exactly how fast he was drinking it when he finally finished and sat the mug down. Perry gave a whistle, being rather impressed.

"Shoot, Peter. He's beaten your record like nothing.", Perry said, with a smile, looking back at the panda.

"I can't multitask, pancakes take a while, I had to chug it fast. Sorry.", Heinz raised a hand in apology before coughing a bit from the hot liquid agitating his throat.

"No, I'm impressed!", Perry said with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, well while you're making pancakes, about you and I get to work on the inator, Perry?", Peter said, tugging on her arm a bit.

"Oh. Well, if it takes a while to make pancakes, I dunno. Is there something I can help with, Doof?", Perry asked, seeming to be concerned.

"...no. No, it's.. It's fine.", Heinz said with a stale smile. There was just something disgusting about how low Peter stoops to keep Perry away from him but he didn't want to argue. "We could... you know...get more done that way."

"Okay. If you're sure.", Perry gave a nod, still concerned.

"I'm sure. You guys go on ahead."

"Alright."

Perry and Peter walked out and Heinz sighed some. He noticed his foot was tapping fast from his temper and decided to make the most of the caffeine rush before it was used up in his feet.

When breakfast was made, Peter and Perry had made some good progress on the machine. They washed up as Norm sat the table and soon all three came to the table and sat down.

"Oh! You cut up my pancakes for me?", Perry asked, a little surprised and delighted at the plate before her.

"Thought I'd save the trouble.", Doof shrugged.

Peter noticed his pancakes weren't even buttered, let alone cut and knew the lack of interest it bore.

"What's the matter, Pete?", Perry asked as she took a bite. "Aren't you gonna eat?"

"...No.", Peter replied, surprising the other some. "I'm gonna go put butter and syrup on it first, thank you."

"Oh, sorry. Did I forget?", Heinz asked, almost sounding genuine. "I'm so used to making two plates, it must've slipped my mind about yours."

Peter made no reply but simply picked up his plate as Perry and Heinz ate, and headed to the kitchen. Once out of sight and ear-shot, Heinz smiled at Perry and Perry noticed and caught the implication.

"...You did that on purpose, didn't you?", she said with a slight smirk as her eyebrow arched in curiosity.

"I do NOT need to start my morning, listening to him.", Doof simply chuckled as he shook his head before returning to his food.

"Well, if you don't mind then, I must say. Curse you Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.", Perry chuckled, earning one in return.

"Thank you, thank you.", Heinz gave a mock bow and Perry laughed a bit more. "So how'd you sleep?"

"Oh. Fine.", Perry gave a nod. "You?"

"I had a really weird dream last night...but I don't think I remember a whole lot of it.", Heinz said, not really hoping to reveal it to the platywoman. "Woke me up, took me a while to fall back asleep."

"Mm. Does that happen often?", Perry asked. "I've been meaning to ask, what since you have the shadows under your eyes all the time."

"Oh. No, actually.", Heinz shook his head. "I mean, yeah, sometimes I don't have a great night's sleep, but a lot of this has to do with my late-night projects."

"Projects?"

"Yeah, I normally prepare my inators and evil schemes, WEEKS before I present it to you so I'm up late a lot of the time, trying to keep on schedule.", he explained. "You do NOT know how late I stayed up trying to get that baking soda volcano finished."

"Oh! Ouch..", Perry chuckled. "I guess I could understand. If I had a nickel for every time I get the 12 AM call cause I needed to come to Owca's headquarters and finish up some paper work I forgot, I'd be flipping rich."

Heinz chuckled a bit more and gave a nod before saying, "Glad I dropped out when I did."

"Hey, you were lucky you even got to.", Perry noted, pointing an accusing finger at him as she smirked. "Monogram was dying to get rid of you. Had you actually been an ocelot, tch. Tough nails. Once in, you can't get out."

"Seriously? For..everyone?", Heinz asked.

"EVERYONE.", Perry gave a nod. "And those who were born IN the O.W.C.A. wouldn't WANT to quit. They'd have no home."

"...I swear. Owca sounds more and more like the enemy instead of me.", Heinz chuckled.

"Tell no one, but it's been a rumor that's crossed the agents more than once.", Perry said, almost uneasily.

"So... No freedom on your part then, eh?", Heinz asked.

"Especially with the irony that I get trapped on a daily basis by a cage anyway.", Perry teased.

"Well hey! I didn't use a cage when you and Peter crashed in.", Heinz mentioned.

"Still.", Perry shrugged. "You get the point."

"Yeah.", Heinz gave a nod. "So how does that work if you were to like, go international with your family or something?"

"Oh man! You wouldn't believe it!", Perry groaned in frustration. "You know! Last time I tried going international, aside from England cause that's where some family does actually live, it was a KILLER. Africa. FAR away from Owca. From America. FINALLY a chance to be with my family, and I get the call you're up to some stupid inator only to fake being sick, miss my flight, lose my chance to be with my family, find you blow it up yourself, and head back home trapped in my platypus bed as the kids' grandparents try to 'take care of me'."

Heinz slid some down in his seat from uneasiness. After all, it was HIS fault she missed that. Talk about the guilt trip.

"...Sorry to always be keeping you from the family.", Heinz said quietly.

"Well it's not entirely your fault, I suppose.", Perry shrugged. "Had I not stayed in America, I wouldn't have been able to stop Carl. ...Even though that already got me a free, five second trip to Africa, ANYWAY, funny as that is."

"Oh, so you DID get to spend some time with them?", Heinz said, straightening up a bit.

"I did. Really glad they were too tired to care about how I managed to get all the way there in the first place.", Perry chuckled.

"Whoo! Close, call!", Heinz chuckled as well.

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah.", Heinz said before conversation was lost. They ate in silence, and then Heinz noticed something. "Wait.. Where's Peter the Panda?"

As if on cue, Peter came back into the room and Heinz and Perry both dropped their jaws and forks in shock at the size of the whipped cream, cherries, coconut shavings, and every pancake topping imaginable piled on his plate as syrup came only a few centimeters away from spilling over his plate.

"WHO-ahh!", Heinz exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Holy doonkleberries, Peter! Do you want some pancakes with that?!"

"Nah, I think I got plenty.", Peter said rather nonchalant. "By the way you're outta whipped cream."

"Yeah, no DUH!", Heinz said, sitting back down as Peter sat his plate at his chair.

"Peterson Monogram, I am indeed surprised!", Perry exclaimed with her hands on her hips, rather indignantly. "...You coulda at least saved me some whipped cream."

"Oh. Sorry. Want some off the top?", Peter asked, bringing his fork to level.

"No. You know I hate pina-colada.", Perry said, shaking her hand dismissively.

"Ah the perfect coconut-pineapple ratio.", Peter said with an easy smile as he picked at the pineapple chunk hidden in the whipped cream. "Heaven."

"More weird than anything if you ask my opinion.", Heinz shook his head in disgust. "Who puts PINAPPLE on their pancake?"

"Hey, who puts pineapple on their pizza?", Perry retorted with a smile.

"'Peterson', apparently.", Heinz joked in reply, making the two laugh.

"...Ha ha ha! Yeah! Keep yukking it up, STUPIDS-PAIN.", Peter replied before beginning to eat his pancake as Heinz spewed the coffee he was just drinking.

"HOW'D YOU-?!

"'Stupids-pain'?", Perry asked.

"Norm.", Peter replied, temporarily ignoring Perry for the moment. "Isn't that what 'Doofenshmirtz' was in English? Stupids-pain?"

Heinz only slammed his face onto the table next to his pancakes as Perry tried hard, and failed, to not laugh.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, but ha ha ha ha!", She said, finally letting loose and laughing hysterically. "Stupids-pain?! I can't believe I hadn't ever noticed! Ha ha ha ha! Oh my gosh! Ah ha ha ha ha! Oh! Oh dear! Oh that must've KILLED you growing up!"

"...Especially in high-school when the teacher called it out..", Heinz said, muffled through the table as Peter and Perry continued to laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

The trio were working hard at the inator and Doof and Peter's competition was still going on strong. Although, a tad unnecessary in the platypus' opinion. But when they start asking if she's alright or if there's anything they could get her in the span of 5 minutes between them, can anyone blame her?

Perry sighed a bit and crawled out from underneath the inator, wiping some sweat off her brow. She sat up, stretched, and got to her feet.

"So, Heinz. Exactly how long DOES it take you to build an entire inator?", she asked curiously before she grabbed a bottle of water nearby.

"Uh, it kinda depends. Sometimes it takes me a few days, sometimes it takes WEEKS, sometimes it takes on the total, eh. About 30 minutes.", Heinz shrugged. "It depends on the inator, really. How detailed do I want them to be. How big are they? How much do I or can I compact into my hand-carried inventions? It's really all about the invention."

"And this one?", Perry asked, side-ways glancing at it.

"THIS one? Um...", Heinz thought for a moment. In honesty, it took him about 4 days. But with as much progress as Peter made on it with Norm's help last night, he couldn't really bring himself to say that. "Oh.. I'd say about a couple of hours."

Perry smiled at this answer and sat the bottle back down again.

"Well that's great news!", she said brightly. "Three times the work, we should have it done in no time!"

"Yeah! How awesome is that?", Peter said, equally enthusiastic.

"...Yeah..", Heinz deflated a bit. "Didn't realize how fast these things could go...with all the extra help."

"Well what's the matter, Doof? Aren't you looking forward to our normal routines and having the house to yourself?", Perry asked.

"...Yeah.. Yeah. No, you're right. I should be happy about this.", he said before sighing a bit.

"So... Why aren't you?", Perry asked, standing up.

"...Guess I'm just kinda gonna miss the equality of conversation.", Heinz said, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"...Well... Well hey! What if you built an animal translator? You know, like the one you made for those whales, except, with platypuses and stuff?", she offered.

Heinz offered a small smile and said, "Yeah. I guess that'd be just as good.", yet he knew that the lack of conversation wasn't exactly what was weighing him down.

They worked in silence from there out. But by the time they were just about done, something suddenly clicked in Heinz's mind. And without any further delay and in the stupidity of his excitement, he couldn't help but blurt it out.

"SENSITIVE! THAT'S it! GIRLS, like GUYS, who are SENSITIVE!", he said to Peter with a wide and triumphant smile.

Peter, for once being on his ball, knew a great backfire and had to try hard, not to laugh so he could say with a straight face, "Do they also happen to like guys who are RETARDED for JUST NOW thinking that up?"

"Well gee, I would hope so for YOUR sake!", Heinz shot back with a scowl. "And I can't help it if I'm an introvert like that!"

"Introvert?! Dude! you blather on like an extrovert, how on earth are you INTROVERTED?", Peter snickered. "Maybe it's cause of your constant-chatter that Perry doesn't love you."

"Yeah well maybe it's cause of YOUR sarcasm that she doesn't like you either!", Heinz growled as both forgot exactly who was in the room at that moment.

"You know, it doesn't even matter if I win her affection or not! Yeah, I'm THAT shallow."

"Oh! that's just the problem with you! You're not even TRYING! You don't even care! At least I'M giving it everything I've got to show that I care about her!"

"Gosh, you know what? You're starting to SOUND like her.", Peter said, scratching out the inside of his ear. "All the more reason to KEEP HER AWAY from you!"

"So that's what you're trained to do?! Stop someone from loving another?! Oh my goodness! Heaven FORBID should a couple get married! You better hop right on that Agent F and Agent C thing right now! Quickly! Before they even DARE to have KIDS!"

"That's different! They're agents! We're talking about you, an EVIL SCIENTIST, subduing an agent and pulling her away from everything that she's become, everything that I'M supposed to be! I care! I care about HER tossing the reputation that I'M supposed to have!"

"Look here you! Why don't you just go jump off the balcony since NO ONE wants you around let alone ruling over their lives!", Heinz snarled. "Cause quite frankly, I don't CARE anymore about this stupid competition! All I want is for her to be happy where as you just FORCE her to believe she is!"

The fight went physical and in a cartoony display of a smoke cloud and a flurry of hands and legs, both men began to throw everything they had into determining who the winner would be. It took quite a good deal for them to finally break apart as one voice finally cut through the fight.

"A-HEM!"

Silence fell faster than a boulder. Both the scientist and the panda dropped their shoulders as their eyes widened when the truth hit them. Perry was standing RIGHT beside them. And after they dared each other to look over, maybe it was how her thin, blue eyebrows were furrowed together over her brown eyes, maybe it was how her arms were folded over her chest, or maybe it was how she was tapping her foot, but whatever it was in her body language, she didn't seem too pleased with what she was hearing.

"...Perry the Platypus it's not what it seems! I didn't mean to- I mean he didn't- Shut it you! I'm trying to talk to her! Look I'm sorry! We don't mean it as-", they stammered and stumbled, and tried to talk over top of each other but Perry raised a single hand and the chatter stopped.

"...I knew it was a contest.", Perry admitted, making their eyes grow wide and their faces burn bright red. "I knew it from the moment you guys began it. Before I walked in, I heard you guys talking it over and agreeing to do it. Knew that's what you were up to, trying to make me feel good, or trying to place a rose in my bedroom."

She held up the rose she found under her bed, and Heinz shirked back a step in embarrassment. She simply smirked and went on.

"That's why I played oblivious. I was wondering exactly what you guys would try to do to catch my attention.", she said, walking about them as she played with the rose.

"...So then, who wins?", Peter asked, making Perry chuckle.

"Mm... See that's been the trouble. You've both put in a lot of thought and consideration into trying to woo me. Asking and willing to talk about ME and MY life, understanding my emotional situations, working on the inator...", she listed as both the boys' hearts pounded hard in their chests. "It's been a bit tricky for me to decide."

"...Perry the Platypus? Can I- May I...throw out my own input?", Heinz asked, almost as if asking a school teacher.

Perry paused and took a look at the man. She gave a small smile and nodded in agreement, and Heinz rubbed his arm nervously, unsure if it would make any kinda difference.

"I.. I may not entirely understand Owca and everything like you and Peter do. I know I'm evil. I can't really change that. But I do love you, Perry. I... I guess Peter was right when he said I've loved you for a long time...", he finally admitted. "...And if it means that you're whisked away to Owca and we're forced to fight each other again... Just so we could see each other and you're still happy with it.. I'm perfectly fine with it. I-I'm just trying to clarify that this isn't just about the competition or anything. I really do love you.."

"And it's not exactly as bad as it sounds on my part either.", Peter admitted as well. "I do care about you. I guess I love you too and all. It's... It's kinda like an older-sibling sorta thing, you know? I don't want to see you stumble in being an agent or anything so.. So you could be...what I was supposed to have been. So you COULD be the golden agent that I didn't get to be. I'm just trying to look out for you cause I love you..."

"...So then why make a contest out of it?", she asked, looking between them.

"...Well.. I guess cause... Well we ARE boys. Girls aren't the only ones have have cat fights.", Peter said with a slight shrug.

"Yeah, true. You know that whole, two guys fighting over one girl thing you see on cartoons or something?", Heinz agreed to. "Kind of a uh.. Kind of a territory thing. Like, 'Hey, no man. This is MY girl. Back off.'"

"Yeah and it's like, 'Oh, yeah right, Dude! Doesn't look like it!'", Peter said, almost getting into it for a moment.

"I get it.", Perry said, snapping their attentions back to where they belonged.

"...So... So do you even LIKE either of us?", Heinz asked with a nervous shrug. "Like.. Like if you were to pick just ONE to like, out of the two of us, which would it be?"

Perry thought it over a moment. She took a good look at both of them. They did have a lot of passion behind what they said. It wasn't fake. But for her to choose just one? After a while of thinking it over, Perry turned her gaze to the floor. She smiled a bit, her feet dragging her towards the make-shift inator.

"If I had to choose?", Perry repeated, her eyes looked up to them as her hand threw a few switches and the machine began to whirr. "I think... I'd choose the real man."

With a small smile on her face, she walked in perfect time to be hit by the inator's beam as it shot out and transformed her into a platypus once again. The rose dropped during the metamorphosis and rolled to the boys feet. Once a platypus again, she gave a bright smile at them both, scooped up her hat, bowed, and ran out to the balcony, jumped off, and pulled out a hang-glider to make her way back home.

Both Heinz and Peter only stared in confusion, trying to determine what she could've meant by her last few words. Heinz saw the rose, picked it up, and thought over it carefully. A REAL man. Well neither were exactly masculine. But seeing her turn into a platypus DID remind him of not only how cute she was, but also that Peter was a panda bear. HEINZ was always a human. Human. Mankind. Man. Did she possibly mean...?

"...Major Monogram?", Peter suddenly thought up, thinking of someone he considered masculine.

The exclamation made Heinz nearly gag as his thoughts were shattered.

"WHAT?! You dumkoph! It was between the TWO of us! NO, she didn't mean, FRANCIS!", he shook his head in disgust.

"Tch. She's a woman. Who knows what she meant.", Peter shrugged.

Heinz simply shrugged and rolled his eyes. Peter turned into a panda, and headed off for Seattle once again. Heinz looked back down at the rose, and couldn't help but find himself smiling. Perry may be a platypus, but could it really stop them from falling in love? Only tomorrow could tell.

**The End**


End file.
